Breathe, You Got This

It could be early in the morning for you, midday, evening, or nighttime right now, but breathe, you've got this. Now, when I refer to these designated times, which we consider points in the 24-hour day, I am not speaking about those points. I am talking about those times of this journey where life and situations seem heavy, and the task of taking care of, investing in, supporting through, and understanding processes makes life at times very uneasy. The daunting task of navigating a new journey that you did not see coming. Having to look people in the face and calmly respond, “There is nothing wrong with him/her, he/she was created in such a way that is unique to any other person, and we have to allow space for him/her to navigate as we support”. Now the entire time you are screaming, crying, wondering, questioning, and praying, “God, do not let me go off on them”.

When you get the news that your baby/pride and joy/miracle/reason for being is Neurodivergent, it can and will be a hard gut punch. I challenge you not to run from it, lean into it. Ground yourself, you will need the ability to center yourself as steady and consistent for the journey you are about to embark upon. I will not say that this will be an easy road to travel. However, you will meet some amazing people along the way who genuinely want and desire to support you and your treasure. There will be people who enter your life at the right time and right moment, when you feel you are about to let go of the rope. The best advice I can and will give you is this. It is about how you nurture yourself and your seed. Yes, nurture. Feed, till soil, create safe growing spaces for you and them, and select resources that make sense to what you are dealing with at the time that will support your family beyond that moment. 

See, this letter is to the momma/ma, dad/pops, auntie/tee tee, unc, granny/g-momma, and/or play momma that has the child’s best interest at heart. I intentionally use those terms because I am speaking to an intentional group. I am speaking to your heart and your concern. I do not take lightly the words I am using. I have been in the space you are currently in, and I was just as scared. I questioned what I did right and what I did wrong. I felt guilty while having a brave face in front of others, my children, and myself. This is a letter of transparency. This is a note of encouragement to you to let you know, do not give up. This world, your world, their world needs you and your energy you bring to the table to make sure your child/ren are beyond taken care of in every possible way.

You may feel alone, but you are not alone. Others are dealing with and have dealt with all the things of education, healthcare, financial decisions, and family challenges. Do not allow those things to deter what you need to do for your child/children. Educate yourself and them as well. Become your child/ren's champion and advocate. Now, while you are doing that for them, the best thing you can do beyond that is to teach them to be their own champion and advocate. They will go into rooms you are not in, and they will have to stand up for themselves. Equip them so that they can defend themselves against those things that will make them feel they should shrink in that space.

From my heart to yours,

Teneice Kirby

Proud mother of two Neurodivergent Kings